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Parenting God’s children

Dear BPCWAians, We recently conducted a family seminar titled “Preparing to Parent Teens”. Over the past years, our focus has been on the younger children, particularly in the baby to toddler stage. But as I look around our church, God has blessed us with many children, and some of them are indeed beginning to grow up. Years pass quickly, and we often exclaim at how some of the children have suddenly shot up (certainly more obvious after we returned from the COVID lockdown when we didn’t see the children for several months).

The importance of spiritual parenting. I would say that the government has a good system of preparing the parent to be for the upcoming baby. There is support for the months of pregnancy in the lead up to the delivery, and even midwife visits after delivery. But what they do is focussed on physical care. This is important, especially in the younger years. The parents are prepared for the duty of physical care of the newborn, and post-natal care for the mother. However, the Bible tells us that children are an heritage of the LORD (Ps 127:3). We must realise that this isn’t just a nice verse to put on a card when congratulating the parents on the new baby. Instead, it reflects God’s expectation of gifting the parents with a child – that the child is to be brought up for the LORD. So, while it is needful to prepare for the physical care, the greater importance in the eyes of God is the spiritual preparation. This preparation is needed for the child and especially so for the parents. Even when a child is born, that child has a soul that has been created in the image of God and this soul which is totally depraved when he is born into the world will live for eternity. Even when the baby or toddler is unable to mouth intelligible words, spiritual parenting is just beginning. So while the world provides the aids for physical parenting – which the parent will deem absolutely essential and pay careful attention to when the child is born – the church must also help to equip the parents for the more important role of spiritual parenting. Spiritual parenting does not “come naturally”. It is this responsibility that parents – whom God has gifted with children – must one day give an account of as well, as to how well this God-given heritage has been trained up for Him. Many courting couples are anxious for pre-marital counselling which teaches God’s plan for marriages. Couples should also be equally anxious about learning what God has to say about spiritual parenting. Just as how many parents to be would be happy to listen to the midwives teach how to bathe and feed and care for the child, and would not brush it off as “I can learn it myself” or “that’s not important”, Christian parents must be willing to learn from God’s Word about spiritual parenting.

The goal of spiritual parenting.  Mal 2:15  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. God’s fundamental purpose in giving children is not simply to make the family complete, nor to have children to carry on the family name, nor so that the parents can be supported in their old age by their children. Children are for God and must be holy. If God grants children, then the couple must see having godly seed in the marriage as part of the primary purpose. Moreover, Westminster Confession of Faith Chapter 24:II reminds us that the purpose of children is “for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed (Mal 2:15)”. This is one of the purposes of marriage, and what is read out at each Christian marriage service. God seeks godly seed not just so that they will populate heaven. But His purpose is that this seed should also be in the church. Because it is godly seed that He seeks, it is not just simply that the children will be in any church, but instead, in a church that will teach them to be godly, and of God’s ways. As we look around us, we see the children God has blessed us with in church in various stages of growth. Some have just been born. Some are in primary school, some in high school, and some in university. A question that I hope every parent will ask is – will my child still be in BPCWA when he/she grows up and is a young adult or an adult? Will they have left the Christian faith? Or will they have left behind the sound biblical teachings in BPCWA and are found in another church that is more palatable to the flesh? Godly seeds are children that, when they are grown, will keep the way of the LORD (Gen 18:19). Parents must be faithful to God’s Word, commanding their children and household after them. This is a serious responsibility, and while we often think that the preparation involves changing the children, it as much (if not more) a change in the parents as well. So before this, parents must realise their duty to live out their duty. This is more than just bringing the child for infant baptism, but having a genuine faith and testimony, day in, day out, at home, at church, and outside. It is more than just telling their children to do something, but showing their children how they should live according to what God commands. Will our children be in BPCWA when they grow up? It doesn’t only depend on them, but it depends also on you, the parent, as well.

Gen 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD …

Yours in our Lord’s service,

Pastor