Dear BPCWA worshipper, Perhaps to some of you, the title already makes you decide to skip reading this pastoral. Do we have the attitude that because we have already heard a message or just prayed in church, we don’t need to talk about spiritual things after that? Or that insisting on godly communication is just too strict? Or do you find it uninteresting or boring because such conversations prevent you from talking about yourself and what you like to talk about? Some may even dislike the Pastor or particular brethren to join their conversations because the conversation will be about spiritual things once they join.

Conversations are a spiritual thermometer.  The kind of conversations we predominantly have in the church is often a good spiritual thermometer of the state of the worshippers. If you struggle with the emphasis on spiritual conversations, then you must first realise that God intended conversations among believers to not just be free from corruption, but must be filled with edification. Hence, He says “let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Eph 4:29). So, we must realise clearly that conversations that are just about prattling on about mundane things are not conversations that edify and minister grace. And if holding a spiritual conversation is difficult for you, then you need to pray for grace and examine your own heart as to why it is so. A spiritual person naturally delights in spiritual conversations.  In fact, such a person longs to continue in spiritual conversations after spiritual exercises in the church. This reminder is important because we do encourage worshippers to remain behind after fellowship to engage in conversations. We have recently held our Chinese retreat and the English congregation will soon be going to camp. Besides the regular fellowship times, such occasions are intended to give us even more opportunities for spiritual conversations as we eat and interact together. Those staying together will have even greater opportunities for communication as they meet each other more regularly and for some as they share a room. Then, there are also conversations at home in the family – between spouses and between parents and children. Have we ever considered the impact our conversations have on others? What mark do we leave on those we communicate with?

The impact of our communication. The Corinthians lived among people with a carnal mindset. Fearing that they would be negatively influenced by the carnality of those around them, Paul warned them to “be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners” (1Cor 15:33). Here, “communications” relates to companionship and contact. Essentially, the warning is that if we are not careful and do not have our guards up when we have interactions with carnal companions, it can cause our character and values to be destroyed and depraved. This is the same principle of the power of a little leaven (1Cor 5:6). Conversely, those that “walk in the way of good men” are those that will “keep the paths of the righteous” (Pr 2:20). Conversations convey thoughts and can affect the hearer’s thinking and values. Have you ever thought that you can affect your spouse, your brethren, your friends, your children? Even speech that may seem innocuous and not inherently sinful in itself can change one’s thinking and values on something. In the context of the Epistle to the Corinthians, a continual focus on the carnal (eating and drinking) was a danger. But more broadly, evil communication can be about many things – epicureanism, worldliness, one’s dislikes, or one’s unhappiness with something or someone. When this is communicated, the sentiment spreads. The cycle repeats itself and the infectious leaven of sin spreads. This is why James warns that “the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” (Jas 3:5).

The godly communication. God did not create the tongue as an evil organ. When man sinned, our hearts became depraved and our tongues became “an unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (Jas 3:8). But when we are regenerated by God, godliness is possible through the work of the Holy Spirit. 1) Originates from godly thinking. This is why Christ says that “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” (Lu 6:45). What is in our hearts eventualise into our words. Essentially, Christ is teaching the way to godly communication. It does not start with minding our words or learning how to talk “the right things”. Godly communication begins with godly minds because our speech is simply our thoughts verbalised. Continuing on his teaching about the tongue, James says that “the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace” (Jas 3:17-18). This means that godly communication begins with the transformation of our minds to be like the mind of Christ. When that happens, the one who is “wise . . . and endued with knowledge” will be evident because he will “shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.” (Jas 3:13). 2) Build up the hearer. When we focus on communication “which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Eph 4:29), the conversation will not be about ourselves, “unloading” our unhappiness, or of carnality. Before you say something, think of how it will affect the hearer. The hearer may be your child, an impressionable mind, who receives whatever you say as what is true and is the right way to think. The hearer may even be your close friend, and so you think it’s fine to just complain and whine. The hearer may be someone whom you think is mature and won’t fall because they’ve always been there for eons. Genuine care for the brethren is to remember God’s guidelines for godly speech when you open your mouth to speak – desire what is morally good for them, what will help them to grow spiritually, and what will help to turn their eyes Godward. 3) Speak truthfully. By this, I am not referring to just speaking your mind, as some use this to excuse their sinful outbursts. It simply means speaking the truth, as must be the characteristic of every Christian. Our “communication [must] be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil” (Mt 5:37). Instead, when the Pharisees “took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk” (Mt 22:15), they slyly started their conversation with Christ with “Master, we know that thou art true, and teachest the way of God in truth, neither carest thou for any man: for thou regardest not the person of men” (Mt 22:16). Godly conversation also may necessitate saying the “hard truth” to help the person get better. This does not mean that the hearer will receive it well, as even the Apostle Paul experienced and said with grief “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?” (Ga 4:16). Communication cannot be said to be godly when it is not genuine and based on truth.

Godliness is something that we must all strive for. Moreover, the Bible reminds us that “in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (Jas 3:2). We must be very careful not to stumble others, by influencing them to reduce in spiritual conversations and increase in mundane carnal conversations through their engagement with us. We must stir each other toward conversations that provoke godliness. I have said repeatedly that when conversations in church become mainly about the mundane, work, health, and hobbies, then we might as well spend time with unbelievers and forget about being in church.  Do not be the one who increases ungodliness and worldliness in BPCWA by your vain babblings. God desires that we have conversations that edify and minister grace because it strengthens the believers and hence His church. Let us all strive to do so and not feel that it is unnecessary. Let us honestly reflect upon our speech to see how we have used our tongues.

Jas 3:9-10   Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.  10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

Yours in our Lord’s service,
Pastor