Dear BPCWA worshipper, Every year, we conduct a family seminar on a topic relating to marriage or bringing up children. This year, I chose to cover the topic “A Picture of a Godly Seed”. Every week in our prayer booklet, we pray that families will bring up godly seeds. Even the children in the church today, when asked, will tend to know how to answer and even pray that they should be godly seeds. Singles must read this pastoral as you need to know this topic well, else how would you discuss such objectives if you are in courtship? Elderlies must also read this because you must be able to advise your own married children, and not be a negative influence if you do not know what they are trying to inculcate in their children.

Godly seed, a key aim of marriage. We know from Malachi 2:15 that God brings 2 people together and seals them in marriage as one flesh so “that he might seek a godly seed” (Mal 2:15). This is an important purpose of marriage which is easily overlooked amidst today’s hype on romance in marriage. It is good that at least many are more conscious that this is one of God’s key goals that we must be working toward in our marriages and families.  However, it is important to go beyond using the “terminology” and know what exactly a godly seed is like. If we go further and ask a parent or grandparent “How will you know if a child has been brought up as a godly seed?”, what might some typical answers be? Perhaps some would say simply, children who are saved. Perhaps some may say that it is a child who is respectful and obedient to authorities. Perhaps another may say that it is a child who is serving actively in church. Is this all there is to it? We must be clear about our goal when bringing up our children before we can hit the goal!

A godly seed’s spirit. Although we do not know if a child is an elect, and if they were, when they will be saved, the parent must still teach the child the ways of the Lord. This is part of their covenant with God. But the key matter to remember is that while we use the means (e.g. family worship, using God’s commandments to lead them, praying with them, and disciplining them when necessary), we must not think that just because they were infant baptised and obey you, it means that they are godly seeds! We have stressed much in the past and will continue to do so, on what parents must do to bring up godly seeds. The means are important because they are given by God. However, we must constantly keep in mind that they are but means toward an end. Godly seed is really about a seed that is like God, i.e. a child with a spirit that resembles God.

Do not lose the plot. Training the outward acts is certainly difficult. But more challenging than that is ensuring that we are hitting the target of instilling a godly spirit in them while applying the means. We must constantly ensure genuine salvation and regeneration. But after salvation, parents must still put in effort to nurture the child to be renewed “in the spirit of your mind; And . . . in righteousness and true holiness” (Eph 4:23-24). It means that the nurturing must strike at the heart of the child – that he would be doing what he does because he wants to do it out of genuine love for God and the things of God, and not simply because he is told or expected to do so. They must not lose the plot i.e. just doing what they are told, but not knowing what they need to be in their hearts. This is so for yourself as a parent as well. The example of a life that is godly is found in none other than our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The goal is that the child grows “unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Eph 4:13) – godly inwardly and outwardly.  Both must be present.

The Ten Commandments as the means. So, what does inward godliness look like in daily life? For this, we use what God gave to us – the 10 commandments. On these 10 commandments “hang all the law and the prophets” (Mt 22:40). In this seminar, we only covered our duty to God, i.e., the first 5 commandments. These 5 commandments encapsulate what love for God means. As Christ Himself says, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment” (Mt 22:37-38). This is the bottom line of the godly spirit we are seeking to inculcate. What better way to be guided on how to bring up a child that loves God and loves walking with Him than by using these commandments to be our directing light?

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Ex 20:3). The spirit of this commandment is that God will be loved, desired, obeyed, esteemed, trusted, and pleased before all. As the Westminster Larger Catechism explains in question 104, it is about walking humbly before God. This is in contrast to what God saw in the people in Malachi. They still claimed to worship Jehovah. They did the outward forms, but God rejected it because their hearts were actually saying “It is vain to serve God” (Mal 3:14). A godly seed’s heart chooses spiritual activities like prayer, camps, services, family worship, personal devotion time over carnal ones – even preferring them over travel, leisure, and pleasure. Parents’ choices often subtly inculcate in their children’s tender hearts their desires and priorities.  

“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image” (Ex 20:4). Parents must honestly assess the heart of their child when it comes to spiritual things. While parents in BPCWA may heave a sigh of relief thinking that their children do not worship pagan idols, we must remember that God further explains that idols are that which take the place of God. They are those which our children “bow down thyself to” or that which they “serve” (Ex 20:5). It could be what they would rather expend their time and energy on, prioritising them over God. The spirit of the 2^nd commandment is the genuine love for true worship and hatred for anything that takes God’s place. In the book of Malachi, though professing outward worship, yet they were unwilling worshippers, grudging givers, and reluctant servants. They offered God their blind, lame, and sick (Mal 1:8), profaning “the table of the LORD”, and thinking that it “is contemptible” (Mal 1:12). While playing and doing their own things, the child may be full of zest and energy. But once the Bible or family worship or a time of prayer comes, sleepiness and suddenly feelings of being unwell “mysteriously” come upon the child. If that is the case, you have to find ways to fix the heart, not just ignore it, while continuing to persevere with consistent times of family worship. Do not think that just because they are obedient, there are no idols. At times, ambitious parents heap on their children a lot of expectations that are not required. These may not necessarily be evil in and of themselves. But is your child getting more interested in these things you have introduced into their lives to the point that they have lost their zest for spiritual things? Do watch honestly and do not be the ones who introduce idols into their children’s lives, and even pay money to tutor their children in their idols, in the race to “develop” their children to their fullest potential. If they think more, talk more, and would prefer to spend more time on these idols than on spiritual exercises, you will need to remove them. If they raise a hue and cry, you then know with certainty that these things have become idols to them. It can even be music or sport. God is put aside for these. The best years of the child’s life, time, and energies are spent on these activities, instead of on the things of God. In the worst case, there is just no time to attend any “additional” things in church other than Worship Service because these “extras” have filled their lives and schedules and drained their energies. Sadly, as the child grows, the gods of their fathers become the gods of the children.  This is often one key reason why churches have more secularly talented children than spiritually godly seeds.

I hope that every parent and would-be parent will take seriously the spirit of their children. A child often has no taste for strongly sweet and saltish food until it is introduced into their diets. Similarly, a child’s heart is like a clean slate that God gifts to parents to look after and keep pure and innocent for His use. The original sin in the child will easily crave and yearn for the carnal things. Sin and carnality need no introduction after the fall. So, as parents, we must do our utmost not to be the ones to cultivate such appetites through our choices for our children. Remember, it is not simply that they are coming to church, sitting through family worship, and have Christian friends. Are they godly within? Or are they just checking the outward boxes? Be careful that you are not the one introducing even more idols into their hearts. May we take heed of the caution given:

“And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.” (Mr 4:19)

Yours in our Lord’s service,
Pastor